Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Lioness Mane

Mine is thin 
and feels like silk
and it is beautiful
when a breeze sweeps it up
and blows it around my silhouette
like ribbons twirling and dancing.

My sister’s is rough and thick
and spirals in a long braid
which winds down her spine
to her knees
and swings side to side
with every step.

I still remember when mama
would brush our hair
when we were little girls
and weave long braids
and kiss us on the foreheads
and tell us we were beautiful,
that our hair was beautiful,

that is was a gift from God.

I would always be mesmerized
by how glamorous she looked
with her black hair down,
dripping water,
and wondered why
she would always tie it
into a tight bun
when it dried,

until I started doing the same
because it just looked cleaner that way.

But now I wonder
if hair was ever meant to be obedient;

why not just let it grow free and untamed?

Because I know my Guru
saw me
like a lioness
with a long wild mane
that flies as the wind carries it about
untouched by anything
but Mother Nature

Sometimes I wear my dark mane out
and close my eyes
and feel it whirling around me
playing with the air
that carries the dust
of all my ancestors
that gave their lives
to protect this gift from God,
so that one day
I could be a princess,
with my dark long hair
as my crown.

And at those times
I can feel
the lioness
that hides
deep inside my soul

and I can’t help but wish I were stronger.

Monday, October 10, 2011

There are only three truths in life.

Lately, I’ve become a slave of logic.
It’s fascinating because it breaks everything down – all complex things become simple if-then statements. It is sensible; it is straightforward.

And lately, I’ve been wondering how truth fits into the whole scheme of everything. What is truth? Because what we often take as fact is usually just a combination of other facts; if you really dig deep and break them all down, everything collapses into nothingness. There are almost no facts; there is almost no truth.

Conclusion #1: The only truth I know is that I am alive.

I know this because I can see, taste, breathe, and think, and create. I know this because I can feel joy and pain. I know this because I can love and hurt. But these things cannot be explained. I know them to be true because all the systems in my body are working in such a way that I can feel these things. Therefore, that must mean that I am alive.

Conclusion #2: If I am alive, then I was born.

Conclusion #3: If I was born, then I will die.

That’s it. Those are all the truths I know.
It’s kind of scary how logic boils down to these three truths.

I was born. I am alive. I will die.

Given these statements, life seems oddly simple considering how complex we always make it out to be. It’s like we were snapped into existence and one day we’ll be snapped out; on and off, with some time in between. That time in between is long enough to make something of it and short enough to waste away.

I feel like there’s a trick to it though. Maybe if we make something of our lives, something unbound by the tethers of death, it will continue to survive after we’re gone. And that way, even though we will die, some part of us won’t; some part of us will live on long after.

Five days ago, Steve Jobs, a brilliant man, passed away. He may have came to these conclusions early in life, because he spent his time creating and revolutionizing technology that ensured his legacy would live on long past his years on earth. Today, I’d like to commemorate his incredible life and leave you with something he once said:

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It's life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new...Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

May we all learn to follow our hearts.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I'm that kind of a woman.

I’m that kind of a woman.

The kind that’s falling fast
through an hourglass
wondering when
she’s gonna find,
find that thing that makes her click; tick
tick, like the clock,
those hands are racing,
faster now,
and these grains,
they just keep gathering,
spilling onto each other
like beautiful paint spatters,
but there’s nothing beautiful about it;
and she’s always suffocating
as she tries to make them slow down.

I’m that kind of a woman.

The kind that breathes life
and one day,
maybe she’ll breathe for another
but until that day, she knows
she’s on this earth
just to be somebody;
but not just anybody,
somebody that’s gonna make her momma proud;
somebody that won’t change herself,
not for a man,
not for the world.

I’m that kind of a woman.

The kind that’s real;
The kind that has substance
because she knows what it feels like
to hurt
and love
and feel
and want,
want so badly.

I’m that kind of a woman.

The kind that believes in hope
and peace
and kindness
and all things good
but can’t help but wonder
why there is so much hate
in this world.

The kind that knows love
is a cure
and tries to radiate it
wherever she goes
because she knows God
lit a candle in all of us
and in that light,
He resides
so what is there to hate?

I’m that kind of a woman.

The kind that knows one day,
after all,
she will stand
on top of the world
holding the hands
of her mother,
and of all her sisters.

The kind that knows
she is beautiful
because God made her

I’m that kind of a woman.

The kind that is like no other
and yet she is every other woman
because in the end, she is

every kind of a woman.